To jump or not to jump

There are a few things that I never want to become.

1). The 57 year old cat lady who never found love.

2). The 72 year old hag, who found love, lost it and is now bitter and scares little children away with a glare.  

3). A spiritually worn torn fool who gives up on pursuing righteousness. 

4). A girl who is given an opportunity that she lets slip through her fingers. 

5). A girl who is too flippant with her desires. 

The last two require a certain balance that I have yet to figure out. 

I don't want to be foolish and jump into something that isn't exactly what God has for me... but then again, what if He wants you to jump? 

I find myself really wanting to jump. 

I trust God's lead... and maybe His leading last year is leading to something I never thought it would because I was not ever interested in it before He brought it to my attention.... 

If this is the case, and I don't jump, I'll be number 4. 

But I also trust God's lead in the sense that He's led me to the point of using my artistic eye to glorify Him... and just because I'm not sure its exactly what I want to do doesn't mean that He doesn't want me to do it. 

I'm sure the martyrs didn't want to die... but they wanted what God wanted, so they went to their death glorifying Him. 

If this is the case, and I jump, I'll be number 5. 

The thing is, I'm happy with the direction God seems to be leading... I'm happy with it not just because its new and exciting... but I'm happy with it because I'm watching Him grow me and stretch me into someone I never thought I could be. 

I have peace in moving in that direction... and I don't know if that's because I want it so badly I could scream, or if its because it's real and right. 

More than anything, I want to get on plane next Fall, live on Capital Hill for a semester, and become a better journalist in every way by taking classes and interning with big publications in D.C. 

And I get the feeling that if I don't do it... I'm going to regret it forever. 

Even though its only been a week since I was hit with the decision of switching emphases and going across the country all by myself to live with complete strangers and learn how the journalistic world is changing... I've yet to stop praying and talking to people about it... and I think that I might jump, because it seems to be where God's leading. 

So I'm jumping... if its not right, I have a feeling God's going to catch me on my way down and reroute me. 

Onward to D.C. and completely renovating my wardrobe... I've never actually had to deal with a real winter. =)